The Consulate, the Circus, and the Garden

We had our Consulate Appointment this morning. We met our guide, Miko, in the lobby at 7:45am and our driver took us over to the medical clinic for her to get our medical paperwork. From there we walked across the street to the US Consulate. 

It is in a new building since our last visit to China but the lines were no different. It is a surreal feeling to know that just because we carry a US Passport we are escorted to the front of the line.

The lines wrapped around the building. My guess is a couple hundred Chinese citizens wanting to get their visa to travel to the US. Absolutely no cameras allowed inside. So our sweet & wonderful guide, Miko, used my phone and took our photo. Then she held on to my phone so that it was not confiscated!

It was a brief visit. We probably spent only 30 minutes inside the building. We went up to the second floor, and we were the only ones in a rather large waiting room. Finally another family came. That was it! 

We handed over our documents once called up to the window. The super nice guy spoke in Mandarin to Selah and she offered her fingerprints as signature. For the first time she seemed excited to say yes in agreement to coming to the US. The man was so nice to her. Jeremy and I took an oath that everything we presented was true and accurate. We were given a few documents to keep then left the building.

The elevator is all glass and when we got on and began to go down, Selah let out a huge sigh. It is obvious that she is afraid of heights. We all laughed.

Today Jeremy took the girls down to the gardens surrounding our hotel and took their photos while I went to the Business Office to confirm our flights. The girls are not thrilled with so many photos! But.....too bad for them! 

It is rather chilly today. I am not complaining especially since many of our American friends have been dealing with the Polar Vortex. Selah brought it to our attention that the news here was showing the weather in the United States. Then she shivered!

Our Selah.

One of the hotel staff offered to take their photo. And I was not there!

More of the gardens.

It really is so pretty here.

The lobby is pretty spectacular as well.

We are longing for home at this point. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around our other four kids at home. A couple have been sick and when Mariah spoke with me via FaceTime the other night and said, "I want mommy!" I admit it hurt and I had tears in my eyes. She was sick and running a fever. It was the first time she told me that. 

We are trying to make lasting memories for Selah. Our guide suggested the circus for us since last year we took the boat ride/dinner cruise. It is a cross between the Cirque du Soleil and a traditional circus only on steroids!

We were not sure what to expect.

The acrobatics were phenomenal!

The animals were also terrific!

There was a diving show, a human cannonball, the Wheel of Death (motorcyles inside a steel cage), and animals. We saw elephants, a white tiger, a white lion, monkeys on bicycles, a hippo, giraffes, ducks, pigs, birds or many kind, horses, deer, flamingos, and probably a few I'm forgetting. 

Sometimes we forget what it must be like for Selah to suddenly join our family. Just the other night she was talking with us then asked, "What is your name?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. This poor child was taken from her school, foster home, and city. She was handed over to us an a very sterile civil affairs office and suddenly became our daughter. I never even thought of the fact that she doesn't know our first names. She knows her siblings but not ours. She has missed out on so much.

We are reminded daily how much of her childhood was stolen from her. She is very independent. She is not trying to disobey but her nature is to just go and do without thought of others. Just last night she wanted to cross the street alone. We were all walking down the sidewalk from dinner and she just hopped onto the street and began walking.

Jeremy quickly called to her and told her to come back with us. She did and even smiled. I think she just doesn't understand how families work. We care for her and it is our job to watch for her. She no longer has to have that burden. But she also has to learn that. It is just ingrained into her being.......for now!

We take such joy in the small things. She asked us the other day how to correctly pronounce her American name. She definitely is on her way to accepting us as her family. We noticed on her QQ account (Chinese Facebook) that she changed her screen name to Selah. We had no idea! That is a pretty huge deal!

She really is such a joy to have. We love hearing her broken English! It really is endearing to us. Because she is from southern China, Cantonese is her native tongue but Mandarin is the recognized language of China. There are two pronunciations of her name. If we say it just right she answers us in Cantonese and it sounds like "way". It is adorable! 

We have had quite a few laughs with the inconsistencies of the translators Jeremy has on his iPad. We asked her what the name of one of the programs on television was and she spoke into the translator. It translated,"I love you!" Obviously that was not correct and Selah knew it immediately and said, "No! No! No!" We all laughed. Jeremy now brags that she told him first that she loved him. 

But then last night Jeremy was speaking to her again with the translator and when Selah said something it translated, "You are stupid!" We all died laughing! Selah felt bad and knew it was really wrong but we laughed. Laughter really is great medicine!

Just this afternoon I take so much joy in the fact that while I was shopping online for clothes for her, she came over to my chair and sat on the arm. She leaned into me for a few minutes. We have to let her do this in her time. It is unbelievably hard.

We are definitely winding down our time here. She is aware that we leave soon and is fine with that. We are praying that her heart is ready for this. Only God can prepare that sweet heart of hers. I know she is afraid. She would never admit that though. 

Thank you all for your prayers as we are here. We have needed them and definitely felt God's hand in this through your prayers. Our daughter is loved by so many. One day I pray she understands how many lives she has touched. I cannot wait for you all to meet her. She will be very shy so please be patient. Keep in mind that we still have yet to hear her call us "Mama" and "Baba".  We are richly blessed as a result of this child. We needed her just as much as she needed us. We will never be the same and for that I am thankful.

Birthday and Church in Guangzhou

When we woke yesterday (January 4th) we had an additional 14 year old! Selah celebrates her 14th birthday and every remaining birthday with her forever family. We plan to make this especially sweet to her. 

It took a little planning on our part. Jeremy took the girls down to feed the Koi fish while I stayed in the room and did a little decorating. It wasn't much but we did what we could. Jeremy ordered a cake from the hotel bakery. It was expensive. And of course, we found a bakery that afternoon outside. I'm sure it would have been much less expensive but we had already placed the order and paid for the cake.

Selah has taken to photography! She loves to take some photos. She has a great eye for things.

Notice the subject of her art.

Then she couldn't resist........

I joined Jeremy and the girls in the lobby and we walked to dinner at Tomatoes, an Italian restaurant. None of us were impressed with the meal but when we finished we walked back to this.......

 And a few gifts.

While shopping earlier that day our guide, Miko, also brought her a gift. It was a very beautiful porcelain necklace. We love Miko!!!! We also bought her a new watch of her choice.

Selah did enjoy her cake.

She had some genuine smiles.

We got her a few gifts. She was eyeing up dolls at a shop and completely missed that we bought a couple for her.

She has a terrific sense of humor. She put the dolls next to the cake to  help us eat the rest.

We bought her some gum, and mints that she loved!

And a book in Mandarin. She liked that too.

Then the girls got giddy and got showers then began to play "volleyball" with the balloons in the room. This was the first true laughter we have heard.

Selah also grabbed my camera and took a few. Oh, Jeremy is so crazy! He loves his girls and I think you can tell.

We enjoyed looking at some photos from the files in my computer. I called Selah over to see a few. She came over to me and got very close. Her leg and arm were touching me. That is a first!

Then we looked over and saw Selah looking at the photos on my camera. This is a huge step in trust.

The only time we really see Selah without that coat on is after her shower. I'm wondering if that is some comfort to her. 


She came to us with a backpack from the orphanage. That was six days ago. She has not touched it but also does not want us to do anything with it. Eventually we will have to unload it to repack it's contents.


While walking down the street last night, there was a beggar that got very close to Selah. She leaned in towards Jeremy! We are noticing the small things that are actually huge. She napped in our hotel room for 2 hours two days ago. That also shows she is comfortable enough to fall asleep around us. Poor thing really needed a nap. She was falling asleep.

As well as Becca.

And Jeremy.......

This morning our guide took us to church in Guangzhou. We met her in the hotel lobby at 9:30 then our van driver took us over to the Hilton where the Guangzhou International Fellowship Church meets.

Our guide took us up to the third floor where the conference rooms were and she told us she would be back to get us at 11:30. Locals are not permitted to attend church services. Since we have a US passport, we were allowed in with no problem. We are blessed to live in a country where we can still worship freely.

We were greeted by a super friendly American named Scott. He was perfect for that position. We were a little early and had no trouble finding seats.

It filled up fast and was standing room only by the time the service began.

And I was holding Selah's Bible. I noticed she kept looking at it then she took it from my lap and I caught this photo secretly.

I'm not sure where the translation breaks down but when Jeremy asks Selah if she has been to church she says yes. When our guide asks her she said no. We are a bit confused. Hopefully one day soon she can tell us in plain English.

It was a great day for sure. Nothing is perfect but we are definitely seeing huge progress. I no longer take for granted being called momma. Nor do I take for granted hugs. We have yet to receive those hugs. But we did catch this......

Older child adoption is one of the most humbling experiences I've ever known. This journey is a stark reminder of the neglect of a precious child. But we can see her resilience. It is a slow process. Please keep our daughter's heart in your prayer. A teenage girl is fragile in the best of circumstances.

Medical Appointment and Shopping

I have not been able to blog like I did for our last trip due to computer issues. Jeremy is ready to get me a new computer. For now we may have it figured out.

Yesterday was Selah's medical appointment for her to come to the US. I don't usually get upset over shots etc. I guess having to give them to Ben every night sort of makes me callous to them. But when it was decided by the CDC that Selah had to have five shots before she would be allowed into the US, I was not a very happy momma. Our poor girl had to get five shots. Two in each arm and one in her leg. 

The reality of Selah's past is now very evident to Jeremy and me. She is so thin. She is thirty pounds lighter than Rebecca and they are the same height. None of the clothes we brought fit her well. She eats whatever is put in front of her. When given the choice (like our buffet breakfast) she chooses American food and uses silverware and eats every bite. 

Her medical appointment is very impersonal. It very much reminds me of herding cattle. She was the only adoptive child there that day and we did get to "cut" in line before any of the Chinese immigrants applying for visas to the US but it was so sad and sterile. They took her blood using a tourniquet but never even felt for a vein in her arm. They just took the needle and saw a vein and went for it. Everything in me wanted to just go and hold her but I also knew she would never allow that. 

I did notice the doctor taking extra time listening to her heart/lungs. She actually made her stand up again and listen. I was told she has a heart murmur and we need to get that looked at as soon as we get home. We also had our suspicions of poor vision confirmed. She is near-sighted.

She never cried or shed a tear. She was so brave. I know that for the past 14 years she has had no one be there to comfort her for these kinds of appointments. And if I was honest, I do not think there were many appointments in her life. She needs 14 vaccinations to be caught up. That is after the 5 she received at the clinic. 

After that appointment we went to a museum. It was so neat. Again, Selah had to read everything! I love that she is like a sponge and trying to absorb it all.

We took many photos inside and maybe I'll share sometime. The building behind the girls is the Guangzhou Library!

After the museum we went to a five star restaurant The Dragon Garden. We treated our guide and van driver to a fantastic meal. We had Peking Duck!

We have never had it before but we both loved it. Becca liked the duck and not much else!

It was a great meal that we will always remember.

Since neither of us ever had Peking Duck before we had no idea that you actually wrap the duck skin in a really thin tortilla shell with onions, green peppers, and cover in a sweet sauce.

Our guide ordered for us and we had some beef, chicken wings, pork soup, and spicy veggies (which our guide kept calling "wedgies" and we were confused).

Obviously Selah is a pro at chop sticks. Selah, our guide Miko and the van driver all laughed at us as we tried. Miko ended up requesting silverware for us! We found out that Selah loves to eat octopus! Very interesting.

From there we went to the police station to apply for Selah's passport. We were early so we waited for a good while but Selah enjoyed looking at all of the photos on my phone. Miko (our guide) was able to interpret. We asked Miko to explain her American name and tell her what it meant (treasured, priceless, valued). Selah grinned when Miko explained the beauty in her name. For now we still call her HuiYi. 

The above photo is at the Chen Family Temple. It was beautiful there. The temple/home has been around for a few hundred years. The carvings were pretty fantastic. We enjoyed ourselves here. We have noticed that Selah is soaking in everything.Once again Selah loved reading all of the signs and her cute sense of humor is evident when she goes to every single suggestion box and fills in suggestions!

The photo above is from the park outside of the Chen Family Temple. We saw so many grandparents with their grandchildren there. It was beautiful! This next photo is of the entrance to the temple.

Becca was quite the celebrity here. Several Chinese stopped her and asked if she would pose with them. She was a great sport!

Selah got a little spunky in one of the shops and asked for her photo to be taken with this gigantic paint brush!

There were beautiful carvings everywhere in this temple!

Here is one of the courtyards.

Compliments of Jeremy.

The beautiful traditional lantern hallway. Right when Jeremy wanted to snap the photo a gentleman walked though. We had to wait until it cleared.

Our priorty for the day was to get shoes for Selah. She refused to tell us that her boots did not fit. I saw her feet at the medical appointment and had tears in my eyes as I saw her blisters. So we went shopping for shoes.

We found the shoes and they were on sale for Buy 1 Get 1 Free. We wanted both of the girls to get two pair. They found two pair each and Selah refused to wear them. Here is Becca waiting for her shoes to try on.

We then wanted to get some clothes for Selah. She was not agreeing to that. She is not used to anyone showering her with this kind of love. Being the parents, Jeremy just told the store owner that we needed two pair of jeans that fit Selah. 

At the next shop we wanted some tops for her. Selah leaned in to our guide and told her we had spent too much money on her and she wanted the guide to help us pay for her clothes. 

Let me just say that I know this is not uncommon in older adopted children but when you actually watch an almost 14 year old girl refuse clothes because she has never received this before breaks your heart. We realized very quickly that God is teaching us that our material possessions are nothing. This precious girl stole our hearts many months ago. Now we have to show her our love in ways she has never even imagined. 

Our hearts are overflowing with love for this teenager that still does not allow us very close. We do see her smiling much more. She is understanding a little bit how we function. She chuckles many times at Jeremy's antics. 

If she only knew that we would give our very lives for her. Time will heal her and show her what love is. We pray that she sees God in us.

Please pray for our girl. She really does not feel well. I think those shots have really gotten to her today. She is currently napping on the couch. She does not have a fever but she is so tired.

I cannot say enough about Rebecca. We owe a lot to her and how she is just so sweet and loves on Selah. We are truly blessed!

Grief Comes in Many Forms

Today was a little bit of a difficult day. We knew to expect these days. These are the very days Jeremy and I were talking about when we said that the language barrier was not our biggest concern. We watched Selah as she was dealing with some immense grief. There was nothing we could do but prove to her we were here and she was safe. She was practically silent.

We met with another Lifeline family and they invited us to ride the cable cars with them. Each family got a taxi outside of our hotel and we arrived alive and unharmed at the attraction!

What a sweet family they were. They, like us, now have six children. They brought their sweet daughter from the US with them and she has been fighting a cold for a few days. We had such a great time just chatting with them. Their new daughter radiates beauty!

We had to leave a little early and tried to hail a cab. One private driver offered to take us back to our hotel for 80RMB. Selah said, "No!" and walked away. She walked out into the street and hailed a cab for us, told the driver where to go and got in the cab. We were quite astonished! 

She does not like compliments. We thanked her and she finally smiled. Our daughter has some street smarts! That was definitely not the first time she had done this.

Jeremy spent some time this afternoon using the translating program on his iPad. He was asking Selah some questions. He found out that she has been to church, she has heard of Jesus, and knows that he died on a cross. We were stunned yet thrilled! 

This evening we took the girls by taxi to Shamian Island. We ate at Lucy's! It was yummy. We have noticed that Selah is not eating Chinese food. She is refusing to use chopsticks. This is not uncommon but still hard to watch her struggle so much.

While shopping this evening I was specifically looking for a few things for Selah. I cannot give her the option because she will say she does not want anything. We bought her a few things and when we walked out of the store she came over to me and in her very quiet voice and said, "Thank you." I grinned from ear to ear. That was so sweet. 

As we came back to our empty hotel room she beat us all to the door and stood there and rang the doorbell then grinned! I think that is a little of her personality peeking through.

I wish she knew she is safe and loved. But we have to prove that to her. The language barrier is there but do not be fooled, she can understand a lot! We thought she was not understanding much then she walked past Jeremy yesterday and as plain as day said, "I have to go to the bathroom first." We know now that we already have a child well on her way to fluency in three languages.

This adoption thing is hard stuff. We knew that going in and now we are watching a beautiful flower begin to bloom. This is the beginning of her forever. We pray that she accepts Jesus.