Honest thoughts

I thought I'd take an opportunity to write a few things that are on my heart as we wait out the remainder of this process. It has been a tough few weeks for me, personally. My heart aches so much to have this little bundle in our arms and in our home. I know and understand that this is all in the Lord's timing. My mere human mind does not understand why this process takes so long. We began this process in December of 2010. But when I compare this process to so many other countries, it is actually pretty quick. I think one of my many faults as a wife and mom is my lack of patience. God has taught me so much in this process. I have learned that no matter what happens, God truly is in control. I knew this before but never experienced it as we have recently. Just when we thought we would never be able to make the next agency payment, God provided.....all in His timing. We have watched this many times in the past 17 months. 

The above picture was the second picture from the update that we requested two months ago. Doesn't it look like Mariah could use a Mama's arms wrapped around her and her Daddy's kisses? She will not know for many years how this journey has changed us as a family. She possibly will never know. I can attest to the fact that we are not the same husband and wife as we were. We have had our hearts' eyes opened to things that we chose to ignore, until now. We did this because it was just plain easy. 

Our Mariah has been waiting for us, for the opportunity of a life she would never have if left in that orphanage.  She was found on the Special Focus list of children on Ch*na's Waiting Child list. This is a list of children that have the lowest odds of ever becoming part of a family. She was truly, the least of these. So how could Jeremy and I see her beautiful picture knowing that she was created in the image of our perfect God and not act? We simply could not. We prayed about her for just a few moments and knew that she was to be part of our forever family. 

Mariah's story is one that we will share with her. She does not have the most beautiful beginning, but we pray that God will create a beautiful remainder of her story. Soon, she will begin that journey. One that was written before the fabric of time.

Here is the beginning of her story that we have not yet shared. Her approximate birth date is December 14, 2010. No one, except her birth parents, know her true birth date and circumstances that surround her birth. Mariah was "found" on January 17, 2011. I have researched many things about this particular day in her province. It was a cold winter Monday in Changzhou. The high temperature was 34 degrees and the low was 21 degrees. 

Maybe you understand even more why my heart aches so much for this baby. She is wanted! She is loved! She is our baby girl who is living in an orphanage. We will teach Mariah what a family is. We will teach her that she is unconditionally loved by her Heavenly Father and earthly family. We will teach her what a mama and baba are, that we will provide for her earthly needs. We will give her a sister that she can share all of her secrets. We will give her three brothers that will protect her. I also have to admit that all of her siblings will spoil this sweetie. They are beyond excited to have her home. Best of all......she will give us the picture of biblical adoption! 

Jeremy and I have witnessed how our old desires have dramatically changed. Two years ago we would have told you that we wanted to remodel our 30 year old kitchen. Would that be nice?......absolutely! We also would have told you that we wanted to have furniture in our theatre room. Do we have furniture?.....nope! Bean bags provide seating for the four kids now. We would have also told you that we wanted a deck on our pool, new family room furniture, new windows in the house, eat out more often, and an additional parking space in our driveway. None of that matters now. Those would all be nice, but we feel so blessed to have been chosen to be Mariah's family.  We can live with things the way they are for a few more years. 

"For such a time is this" has been a comfort to me on more than one occasion. When others have questioned our motives, Jeremy has reminded me that this is God's time for us to adopt and quoted this Scripture from the book of Esther. We have received a lot of support and it has been a blessing. Several friends have been surprised by our announcement and accepted it with joy. It took us 16 years to come to this decision! We are simply obeying God. I don't mean that this is simple. It has been anything but. We could have given up several times, but we knew there was a little girl sitting in an orphanage in Ch*na waiting for us. We dove right into the waters that were so unfamiliar to us. I feel like we dove in without a life jacket. Yet here we are. 

Our lives would be so much simpler right now if we were not on this journey. We would have more money. We would not be going back to a baby in diapers then potty training. We would have a newer car for Jeremy with brakes that work (he lost his brakes on his way home from church today). We chose to obey God's leading, after several years. Keep in mind that we ignored this leading for several years. We just could not ignore any longer. God does not ask us to do the simple. He requires us to obey. We would have been miserable if we chose to continue our lives as they were. Instead, we are experiencing God in a way we never dreamed. We are happy! We are madly in love with each other.....still! I see Jeremy as I have never seen him before. He would move heaven and earth for Mariah, a child we have only seen in a few pictures. He has ignited this fire in our other children and encourages them to consider adoption once they are married. Jeremy has already arranged to return to China with Becca when she and her husband adopt. Evidently, her husband and I stay home. Ummm, we'll see!

All of us agree that it is time! We are just praying that Ch*na issues that final approval this week!  

We ask that you pray for several things as we begin this leg of our process:

*Pray that Mariah's little heart is ready to meet us.

*Pray that Mariah is healthy.

*Pray that our flights are not terribly expensive.

*Pray that our four kids here do well at Aunt Tammy's and Uncle Don's.

*Pray that we remain healthy. 

*Pray that my parents remain healthy.

*Pray that we do not suffer terribly from jet lag.

Thank you for your friendship and prayers. 

I leave you with a video that Jeremy put together. This song has special meaning to us.                                           Beautiful!

                                      

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.                                                                                Jeremiah 1:5