Family and Trust

Yet another week has passed and I am amazed that our girls have blended in with our family so well. It has been eleven weeks since we first met Selah. Sometimes I forget that we have only been a family for that short time.  

What seems more unreal to us is that we have had Mariah as part of our family for 21 months tomorrow! She is 6 inches taller and 18 pounds heavier!  She has hair long enough for a "nony tail" (rhymes with pony tail). She has more energy than I am sure I ever did. She loves us and I just told Jeremy yesterday that I cannot believe that she could easily be sitting in an orphanage in China still today if we had not taken her file. Thank you Lord for leading us to our youngest daughter was all those months ago!

The above photo was taken at our dentist's office. Jeremy, Ben, and me had dentist appointments and we took her with us. Such a cutie patootie!

Mariah still has speech therapy every Friday. Her speech appointment was at 9am for speech and our dental appointments were at 9:50. We were quite rushed to make it on time but we did. Yeah......no cavities!!!

Right after lunch I took Selah and Rebecca to the Social Security office to apply for Selah's social security number. I would love to say it was easy but it was not. I had to apply without her Certificate of Citizenship. That has not been issued yet and they cannot tell me when we can expect that document. This means her card will be issued in her Chinese name until I can prove her citizenship. I only wish it would have been that easy. I took her Chinese passport, my passport, her Chinese birth certificate, and her Hague Adoption Certificate. They told me that was not enough. I then was told it will take at least six weeks. The problem is we have to file our taxes. We do not have six weeks. It appears we have a few phone calls to make this week.

Selah is doing great in our family. We could not love her more than we do. What a blessing she has added to our family. I will admit that it has not been easy for us or for her. Yes she is doing well. But you cannot simply erase 14 years of neglect.

We have had to learn to parent entirely different. She comes from a very different background. We cannot expect her to know immediately how a family works. 

She is constantly observing how we function. 

We have been on our knees for her praying for her heart not to be broken but we believe it was. More accurately we believe her heart has been torn into thousands of pieces. So instead we pray for the Lord to mend all the hurts of her life in China. Also for us to know how to parent her.  

As I have begun to teach I have discovered that she has excellent math skills. I have started her in Pre-Algebra and it is clear that so far what we are doing is mostly review. She has had very few questions in math. 

This past week was a bit of a realization for me. I have noticed over the past 2 1/2 months that she questions us a lot. Not out of disrespect. She just truly does not believe. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to teach a child that doubts everything? Please pray for her to begin to trust.

As the past several weeks have gone by I began to notice that it is tough parenting a child who has never been parented. Not a single person in her life has invested in her. Not one! As a result she trusts no one about anything. She told me quite simply that she did not believe me when it came to a math question. It truly was not disrespectful It was just honest and abrupt (like her culture). 

While we honestly believe she is adjusting quite well, we also know it will take a lot of time. It will take a lot of love from us and wisdom from the Lord. We spend so much time praying over this sweet child. She deserves it!

An unexpected surprise came tonight as I was getting her papers ready for school this week.  I found a note written by her but not given to us. It was written on a small piece of paper that I had given her with my cell phone number. She wrote, "I'm so happy to have this family!" and she wrote that she loved each of us by name.

She still guards her life before us very closely. I know it is okay. We have a lifetime to catch up. I am certain that there will be many things that will be very difficult to hear. We pray that God gives us the wisdom that we seek each day. We pray that He helps us know how to hold her and protect this sweet child. Oh how we pray that God reveals himself to her in a very real way. 

We smile at how God is doing small things for her. When Jeremy asked her what she has been praying for she told us that she asks God to help make her taller and gain some weight. She has grown two inches since her medical appointment in China and she has also gained five pounds. Of course her response to that was, "I do not believe." 

Although her adjustment has been terrific we have not shared some of these difficulties. She is a precious gem. Our hearts overflow with love for her. We knew this would not be a simple adjustment. It never is. We still struggle with some orphanage behaviors with Mariah. The years Selah spent in China were very formative years. She was told how to act, how to think, and what to do with every moment of every day. That was a comfort to her. Now we begin to teach her what freedom means. We pray that she finds true freedom in God.




I wanted to take a moment to ask that you lift another family before the Lord. If you remember I have asked for prayer a few times before for Lily. She is a little girl with a severe heart defect. She has had several surgeries and is in desperate need of a miracle. Will you pray for the Rancourt family as they struggle each day with a child who is very ill? My heart has been broken by Emily's cries to the Lord for His guidance and wisdom as they watch their four year old daughter fight for her life.




Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us