Love!

School is almost completely done for our kids!!!!!! Did you "hear" the excitement in that statement?

I do enjoy homeschooling. However.....this year has been very difficult. The school year began with us once again undergoing the adoption process this time on steroids. The expedited process tested me more than ever before. Absolutely every step of the process to adopt Selah was met with adversity. I practically had our congressman's office numbers on my speed dial. I knew that Satan was working so hard to discourage and interfere. As always God's way was victorious. I promise to blog more about that soon but I digress!

One of the sweetest surprising moments (with Selah) happened on Mother's Day. We had gone home to be with my parents as my dad lost his business to a fire. We spent the afternoon outside enjoying the sun and taking photos. Selah ran up to me and said, "You take picture?" So I did!

Can you see the absolute joy in Selah's entire countenance? Not to mention the fact that she wrapped her arms around me! I only wish the glare in my glasses was not so bad. She is stunningly beautiful!  

Jeremy was chatting with Selah's social worker in China the other day. She asked for some photos of Selah in everyday situations. Jeremy sent her a few and her response was as follows: "She is much happier in America than she was here in China." It came on a day that we really needed to hear. We have many great days but this process has been difficult.

Her grieving takes many forms:
*silence
*disappearance (usually to her room between the two beds)
*inappropriate laughter
*loud walking, almost stomping
*passive disrespect (not unlike my other kids)
*eye rolling (also not unlike our other children)
*mumbling in Cantonese (She owns that one!)

These are the times that challenge us as parents. We have to throw out everything we have learned raising our other kids. It is imperative that we always remember what this sweet girl has lost. She does not know how to process her new life nor does she have the "tools" to process her new circumstances in an "acceptable" way. But she is learning. And she definitely tries to change.

So while we learn a lot about each other, the above photo represents where we most often are these days. She has come so far in just a few short months. 

In one of her school papers she is learning about adjectives. Selah's job was to correctly write an original sentence for the adjective shown in the picture. I was so touched when I saw what Selah wrote.

We are still working on the second sentence.  However, for only being here for less than five months.........WOW!!!! Her English is amazing! We have spoken to her social worker and was told she was at the top of her class of 1,000 students. She is very intelligent. 

As we headed out the door for church last week I grabbed Selah's Bible and noticed something written in the flyleaf.

I imagine that she heard this somewhere. It had been a bit of a difficult day. Then the Lord allowed me to see this. I know it was His reminder to me of all the hurt and utter rejection our daughter has experienced in her life. 

She has never experienced the kind of love she is receiving from our family. This was exactly what I needed to see. I needed to just realize how her life has been shaken to her very core. I have children who love me unconditionally. I have extended family that love unconditionally. I have a husband. I have a mom and a dad who love me and our family. I have Jeremy's family that love me like their own flesh and blood. I have God! Selah has never experienced any of these things. My sweet friend, Cindy, called me and we were chatting about adoption and she reminded me that Selah has nothing to offer. No one has cared enough for this girl to invest in her life. No one ever invested love. The only love she has ever known or experienced is demonstrated to her or others around her. 

Selah has added such a sweetness to our home. She is becoming such a great big sister to Mariah. I love seeing her interact with Mariah. It is obvious that she had almost no interaction with little ones. She is finally allowing herself to enjoy being part of a somewhat large family. 

I thank God every single day that we signed her paperwork three days before she was lost in the welfare system in China. Ultimately her future would be grim. She would likely not live for many more years. 

As we celebrated Memorial Day yesterday she was confused. We watched the PBS Memorial Day Celebration on television. I watched her as she was soaking it all in. She was a bit taken back by the number of headstones shown at Arlington. She was so very quiet. 

Memorial Day was also a great day for us though. My sister and her family stopped by on their way home from a wedding in Virginia. We had a great cookout! The kids played badmitten! We found a sport that Selah is excited about! She just lit up! We are so happy to see her more often being a kid!

We had the closing ceremony for our church's AWANA program this past Wednesday. I want to take a moment to brag on my kiddos. Rebecca was one of only two kids this year to earn the Timothy Award. She has finished every single book in AWANA from Cubbies to TNT. She not only finished those books but she has worked on the extra sections as well.

 

Ben is right on track to earn this same award. It took him until the very end of the year but he finished his book! I am so proud of them. This is not an easy feat!

Mariah also finished her first AWANA year. She loved her Puggles class and most definitely Ms. Opal (April) and Ms. Bebbie (Debbie). She gets so excited every single Wednesday. Thank you both for making her feel so special. 

Thank you to all of our AWANA workers for investing in the children at Fellowship!

I also want to share that our two older boys have had much joy in helping in AWANA. Jeremy and I are passionate about our kids serving. This was Kyle's third year, Micah's first year, and Jeremy's 15th year! I have stepped away for a few years as I am trying to minister first to my family and be a mom to Selah. 

We are an incredibly blessed family! As absolutely difficult as the worst days are, it is unbelievably fantastic!

God has poured out his love on us and has supernaturally given us above and beyond what we need or deserve. 

As Mariah and I were using sidewalk chalk in the driveway I just wanted to let others know this one thing.......

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.         Joshua 24:15